I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
