PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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