She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
