the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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