2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
