I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
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