You're so nebulous sometimes
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
