If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
