Its about making memories worth repressing
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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