Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
