so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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