Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
