it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I think I just sharted jello shots
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
