Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
