I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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