carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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