Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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