I need to stop coming to work sober
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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