So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
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