So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
