Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
