Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
