oh god the rape fog is back!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
