Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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