Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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