i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
