I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
