Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
