Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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