She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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