Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
