We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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