When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
third nipple confirmed
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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