Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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