Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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