I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
