eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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