how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
