i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
