i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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