I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
