why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
