I'm really into asian looking animals
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
