i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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