I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My underwear smells like fireworks.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
