You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
