is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
