I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize