this boner is exhausting
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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