end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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